Because You're Special

When was the last time you told someone that they were special? When was the last time someone told you that YOU were special? This evening I met with some old friends of my parents who have known me since I was 4 1/2 years old, most of whom have grown children of their own now, and some already have grandchildren of their own! As we were leaving, the host of the gathering - one of Bapak's closest friends - said to me, "You are very special, you know." and it simply made my heart glow. In an instant, I was 5 years old again...beating him at the card game "Go Fish!" for the hundreth time...hee-hee-hee.

It was a walk down memory lane to my childhood days in Madison, Wisconsin ... a lifetime ago, but a time that remains so vivid in my memory that I can easily relive scenes of the times I spent whizzing around on my banana bike on the sidewalks of Eagle Heights - the apartment complex where we lived with many other graduate and post-graduate Indonesian students and their families during the early 70s.

It was a time of many firsts for me. My first encounter with snow, when we arrived from Beirut at 4 a.m. and I insisted on making snow angels, much to the amusement of my mother. My first experience in acting and appearing in a school play - Stone Soup - that was shown on local TV, followed by a more serious role in Shakespeare's Macbeth during one summer vacation.

And there were many more...Learning how to ice skate - first with four blades, then slowly graduating to very fancy single blade skates! Riding a bicycle...from tricycle to a two-wheeler with training wheels, and finally graduating to my own purple banana bike without training wheels. Star Trek - the black and white version. Chicken pox. My first paid job - babysitting for 25 cents an hour. Fishing with my very own rod. Getting the hook caught in my head when casting the line! Ice fishing on Lake Mendota. Learning how to use a pocket knife and cutting my finger.

So many firsts...each one special, a story within the many stories of what I know is a special life. And I have been lucky because all along the way, with each bump and bruise and fall and success, there have always been loving people who have given me courage and strength by simply saying, "You're special."

Fast forward to two workshops we just did recently. An observer made the comment that it seemed the participants were "very smart" because of the way they participated, and because of the things they said. "They must be used to events like this," the observers said, suggesting that the participants did not represent the average Indonesian. It took much patience for me to keep my cool. And the realization hit me. The observers didn't get it. They didn't understand that often all it takes is sincerity, compassion, respect, the right question...

...and truly making someone believe that they are special, and that they have something worth saying, and that you are there to listen because you truly are interested.

Ken Robinson is right. Education - especially the kind that seems to have produced so many professors in academia - is killing creativity.