Be Happy, Kaos Kaki!

No matter how many times it happens, with each loss of a pet my heart aches. Yesterday we lost Kaos Kaki...she was, according to the vet, 12 years old. Personally I think she was younger, but we did have her for a long time. She was always a wanderer who would disappear for several days, sometimes. But over the past few months she would always come home, especially when I was around.

One of our most affectionate cats, she was given the name Kaos Kaki because of her almost all black fur and white paws. Her closets friend was Pixie, our mini dachsund who would always greet her as soon as Kaos Kaki walked into the house. Likewise, if Pixie was asleep when she walked in, Kaos Kaki would look for her. They would spend several minutes nuzzling each other, thoroughly enjoying each others company.

The day before I left for our recent trip to Aceh, Kaos Kaki came home for breakfast and I heard her meowing from downstairs, a very distinctive and demanding meow. I called her name, and she ran up the steps to greet me. But I noticed she was very thin and also quite weak. We tried to feed her, but she couldn't eat. All she wanted to do was to drink. Something was not right.

She then came into my room, and lay down on the mat in front of my bathroom. It was the first time I ever saw her do that. I felt something tug at my heart, and a part of me already felt that perhaps she was slowing down and in a way was saying goodbye. She wouldn't leave my side, and would ask to be petted the whole time I was packing. All she wanted to do was to drink water.

Then she tried to get into the bathroom sink. And in my heart I knew her time was growing near. Many of our cats who were about to die would always look for the bathroom sink and lie there. Probably because it was cool and quiet?

Worried, I called for our vet and asked that Kaos Kaki be looked after. Before she left, I held her close, kissed her on the head and whispered, "If your time has come, it's okay to go." But I was still hoping she would last until I came back from Aceh.

She almost did. Our vet said she was old and her lungs were weak, so she sent Kaos Kaki home to be among her loved ones. Ibu gave me daily updates and I cried myself to sleep for the last two nights we were in Aceh. I knew I had to let go, but it still saddened me deeply.

On my way home from the airport last night, I called Ibu to tell her I'd be home. Ibu said that Kaos Kaki had just passed away 10 minutes before I called. She had tried to wait, but her body couldn't. As she was about to go, she still meowed as if looking for me - I'm told.

I still managed to see her before they buried her, my little fur ball...who really loved us and showed it. I know she is now sitting on Bapak's lap and in a better place...healthy again, young again, happily chasing birds again. Thank you for the love you gave us, Kaos Kaki! I miss you.