Masdot

Masdot was the name I gave him...he was yellow, hence "mas" meaning "gold" and he was mostly white, but with a big yellow splash...or "dot"... MasDot. He must have turned around 8 or 9 recently, one of our oldest cats, but his quiet and sweet nature always made me think he was still young.

Over the past few months, we spent a lot of time together. In the evenings, he would come in through the window of my room, and ask to be let in and petted...sometimes he would even sneak onto the bed and sleep with Pica and Pixie. I have to find the picture of that threesome. Precious.

A few weeks ago I noticed he was very thin. I asked Nyai to feed him more often, and even took to having extra food in my bathroom, because that's where he liked to eat at night. Then when I left to do a training for a week, I asked Nyai to take special care of him. But when I came home after the week of training was done, I didn't find him in his usual place. It was not until Sunday evening that I saw him...very thin, very weak...and in pain.

I tried to feed him, but he couldn't eat very much. He drank water, but was otherwise quiet. I considered taking him to the vet that night, but also felt he just wanted to be at home with me. So I watched over him, and finally fell asleep.

When I woke Monday morning, I couldn't find him. I panicked, knowing that cats often go away to die. After looking for him frantically, Nyai found him on the wall above our birdcage, staring out peacefully. I knew it had taken up a lot of his energy to get there. But I convinced myself he was going to get well.

Not long after that, Nyai brought him to my room. I told her we'd try to bring him to the vet and see what she could do. I noticed a flea running on his fur...and my heart sank. That was not a good sign. Usually fleas knew when their source of food is no longer healthy...they scurry around looking for better blood.

So I sat with him for a while, he purred and pressed his head against mine...rubbing his face against my face. And now I know we were actually saying goodbye. It was a long goodbye. And I willed him to get well...at the same time telling him that it was okay for him to move on if it was his time.

All the other cats came to keep him company, a few even came close to sniff him. And then it was time for him to go to the vet. I told him I'd see him again soon... I never did.

But he's probably sitting on Bapak's lap right now...or playing with the others who have gone ahead. Dr Cut said it was a tumor, that's why he wasn't gaining weight. It was eating at him. Poor baby.

Thank you, Masdot, for many years of your company. Especially the last few months when you would keep me company as I was writing reports, proposals, or even blogging on the table outside facing the window. You were never far...and I know you will always be near. Love you. See you when it's time for us to hang out again!