Rattled.

Yes. Rattled. That is the best word I can find to describe how I felt today. How the whole office felt today. Like one of those baby toys filled with little beads, shaken wildly. I was one of those little beads today. Even my Divine Calm aromatherapy didn't help. Just when things would settle down. The rattle would be shaken again, and rattled again we would be.

It turns out that all of us felt the same way. Dian couldn't work, Dani couldn't write, and our beloved 20 year olds were a lot quieter than they usually are. No music played. So worried were we that any song might cause even more rattling to happen.

And yet we needed to be together. Rattle beads needing to be around to comfort each other. To rattle together. To be quiet together.

It was exhausting. Utterly and thoroughly exhausting. I am still exhausted now. But we continue to rattle together because we care for someone who is going through a rough patch...because of love. Or perhaps more accurately, because of heartbreak.

I stand by my rule of choosing only to become seriously involved with someone who makes me more productive, creative, intelligent, inspiring...someone who simply brings out qualities in myself that may not shine as brightly, by simply being there and loving me. They are few and far between. And even when they do come along, things don't always work out.

Yet, I still have faith that things happen for a reason and in their own time. What is rattling now, will, eventually subside. And like seeds in a pod that finally bursts, as they fall to the ground the seeds will grow and have life...and give life too.

So I guess we will rattle on for a few days longer...having faith that the time will come for us to break free.

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